Last weekend was the most emotionally draining weekend I have had in a long, long time. In light of the tragic events of the week prior, our church (The Bridge) spent a significant part of our gathering praying and discussing what our response should be. You can read that portion of the service here (It is really great!). Then, in the evening, the elders decided to change what was planned to be a forum on the Holy Spirit to a prayer event. Honestly, I wanted to stay home and rest and avoid thinking about the sad and hard things. But as I considered staying home, my mind thought about those who cannot easily escape the pain like I can. Apathy is not from the Lord. I should have been desperate to go to the prayer event. I should have been desperate to cry out together as a church asking the Lord to move and redeem. However, my whole being just wanted to run far away–I did not want to face the sadness of it all again.

Well, I went. And it was an incredible, intimate, unified time with the Lord. Below are thoughts I jotted down in my phone as I fell asleep that night.

Today, I felt God. Today, I saw a greater Hope. Today, I learned more about who God is. I saw my own wickedness in a new light. In the aftermath of tragedy, His word rang true. His power and might and goodness were proclaimed. Men and women vulnerably poured themselves out, confessing sin–fears, prejudices, feelings of hopelessness. God was glorified. It was clear that His death and resurrection are our only hope. His promises bring peace. I feel extremely privileged to have experienced today. I am thankful for the leaders of our church who are seeking God and his heart.

Last week, I learned that entering into pain means seeing the face of God.