“The valley of the shadow of death”–remember that phrase from Psalm 23? That’s where I’ve been for the past month. In the valley of the shadow of death.

On April 23rd, we found out we were pregnant! On May 23rd, we lost our tiny baby.

Many, many, many of us have tasted death over the past few months. For some it has been due to COVID-19. For me, it was a miscarriage. Even those who haven’t tasted it as poignantly stare mortality in the face constantly as we continue to persevere through a global pandemic.

However, I’m not here typing away during naptime to bring you more bad news. I’m here reminding myself and perhaps you too that even in the valley of the shadow of death, there is good news.

In Psalm 23, David doesn’t say he is walking through the valley of death. He says he is walking through the valley of the shadow of death.

So, let’s straighten some things out. Can a shadow hurt you? No. Can a shadow control you? No. Does a shadow have any power over you? No! Might you be afraid of a shadow? Yes. What dispels shadows? The light!

The psalmist says, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me.”

1 John 1:5 says that “God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.” Just like a parent turning a light on, calming a child’s fear of shadows, when we invite God into our shadows, we see the true reality of our circumstances.

For those in Christ, we might walk through the valley of the shadow of death, but we will never experience the finality of death itself. We cannot take this lightly! Our sinful nature–our rebellion against the God of the universe–deserves death! However, on the cross, Christ took on our death. He experienced the rejection of the Father so that we, at worst, would only have to walk through the shadow of death. To followers of Jesus, death is not an eternal destination. It is the entrance into our eternal destination. By the blood of the Lamb, death is swallowed up in victory. It does not get the last say.

The amazing thing about being brokenhearted is that God is near. Psalm 34 tells us that. In the pain of my miscarriage, I felt the presence of God more than any other time in my life. Nothing of this world could lift my head or cheer my spirits so I was forced to spend hours in the Bible. It was the first time I truly experienced the “bread of life” really being the bread of life. There was hope to be found in nothing else but Jesus.

My joy was directly proportional to the amount of time I spent choosing to focus on the things of God rather than of this world. This doesn’t come naturally! It is war. Paul is constantly encouraging others to “set your mind on things above” (Phil 4, 2 Cor 4, Col 3). I had to ask God to give me awareness of when my mind was slipping to fear, despair, or pity and also to give me strength to turn and choose something specific to focus on. Many times, He turned me to Lamentations 3:19-24.

Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
    the wormwood and the gall!
 My soul continually remembers it
    and is bowed down within me.
 But this I call to mind,
    and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in him.”

Even though the past month has been extremely painful, it has been beautiful. Wherever you find yourself today, you can know that Christ is sufficient for you. Even in the valley of the shadow of death, He has gone before you and He is present with you. His steadfast love never ceases & His mercies never come to an end.

Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
     He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
     He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.